Social Value Explained – The Golden Key To Becoming Popular

Posted on 20. Apr, 2009 by admin in Inner Confidence, Social Dynamics

Have you ever done this: Stood or sat near someone because you thought other people would see you with them and think you were a cooler person because of him/her?

Can you can easily talk to people who are seen as being “uncool”, but struggle to say the right thing when talking to someone popular?

You aren’t alone. Everyone does these things all the time.

If you’ve ever wanted to know the hard-core psychological science behind what makes some people magnets for friends and attention, and others desperate for any social contact, then what you are about to read will blow your mind.

What Is Social Value?

Social Value can be thought of as a scale. Everyone has a place on it, that determines how people react to them.

In general, there are two groups of people: High Social Value and Low Social Value.

• High Social Value people are the ones who have tons of friends and connections.
• Low Social Value people usually have very limited social success and are often loners.

Where Does Social Value Come From?

Social Value comes from our caveman days. Back when everyone was worried about getting food and shelter and surviving.

Anyone who seems to be able to better our chances of surviving, or help us reproduce, or give us feelings of enjoyment is someone that we want to be around.

They Help Us Survive

Men who are dominant or leaders are high status, while women who have many connections are high status.

Being around a leader will better your chances of survivng, so sticking around dominant guys (if you’re a guy) and socially savvy girls (if you’re a girl) has been programmed into us by evolution.

They Help Us Reproduce

This, of course, goes back to when humans lived in caves and jungles. We have a very basic need to reproduce.

Men who are able to attract many women are who other men want to be around while women who are attractive generally increase the chances for both the men and women around them to reproduce.

They Make Us Feel Enjoyment

People who other people think are funny are usually high status.

We are attracted to pleasure and away from pain, so we think highly of people who can make us feel pleasure.

In a second, I’ll show you how these three benefits: survival, reproduction and enjoyment, are the foundation that makes some people social magnets.

High Social Value

We gravitate towards people of high status.

High Social Value (high status) people don’t care what others think of them. These people can be alone in a new social situation and feel comfortable.

They are confident, have high self-esteem and are comfortable in almost any social situation

For example: In a bar, an attractive woman has high social value, because she is the one in control. Guys may come up and buy her drinks because they are seeking her approval. If she rejects them, they feel bad. She controls how they feel, making the guys low social value.

Low Social Value

Low Social Value (low status) people feel the need for people to like them. They need other people’s approval and validation. They are needy and cling onto high status people like leeches.

Most shy people fall into this category.

That’s why you probably like to hang around people who are more popular than you. You are almost trying to get some of their popularity. You see them as being a valuable friend to have, because they are a “step” up.

Low status people are “reactive”. They react to what other people say about them. They need people to like and approve of them. Their whole state of mind depends on what other people think of them

How Do We Judge Someone’s Social Value?

We determine someone’s social value through their body language, eye contact, voice, and many more cues, which are nearly imperceptible.

When we judge someone’s social value, we do it on an unconscious level. We don’t even realize we are doing it.

A man’s value is sub-communicated by the obvious and subtle behavior patterns that comprise his personality. That will determine how attractive he is and how people respond to him emotionally.

A woman’s value is based more on how well connected she is socially, as well as how she looks.

That is why, in high school, the most popular guys tend to be jocks and the guys who are loud or funny. It doesn’t matter much if they are good looking or not.

The popular group of girls were almost all good-looking. Their social value depended on their looks and, to a lesser extent, how many people they knew.

That doesn’t mean that, if you’re a girl, you can’t become socially successful. It does mean that, instead of changing your personality (like guys), you have to build social connections on top of your personality, which I’ll show you how to do.

How Can Someone Become High Social Value?

Because we judge someone’s social value based mostly on how they act, that makes it possible to change how people view us by becoming better at giving the right social cues. We can become popular by changing our personality, and personality change is at the core of this website.

Tags: Dynamics, Popularity, Social Value, Sucking Up, Transformation